skipping through

it is what i named my blog because thats how i generally try to go through life. skipping through. one only skips when they are truly happy...to me it symbolizes finding joy in life, and wanting to to skip happily along.

i dont feel like skipping today.

an amazing person in my life died saturday. she loved me more than any person ever has and ever will. she showed true unconditional love that did not expect anything at all in return, but appreciated every bit of love directed her way. she loved to color, play games, look pretty, go on adventures, take pictures, take care of animals, watch game shows, give presents, dance, smile, and so much more.

i dont think i fully appreciated the depth of aunt kay's love while she was physically with me. i took for granted what many will never experience from another human. i am grief stricken from the loss of my dear sweet aunt, but through her i am able to better relate christ's love for me. aunt kay was the perfect example of the selfless love of christ, and the love we are to feel and show each other.

it is so hard to be selfless, especially in a society built on individualism... a society that preaches my wants/needs are the most important, and i must find and define myself to be truly happy...everything relates and revolves around how i see myself, and how others see me...from my clothes, work, music, books, movies, education...it is all based on individualism trying to conform to what society deems valuable...interesting...a society collectively forcing individualism

this weekend i was fortunate to be a part of something bigger than what society values, i was able to experience true community...community that rejects selfish individualism...community that embraces jesus' teachings of all parts of the body working together as one. i wonder how after experiencing this, one can ever think individualism superior, but then i realize my own selfishness and see how easy it is to slip back into a me mindset.

it is hard sometimes to embrace the body...it is full of sinful humans. people do not always have others' best interest at heart, they disappoint, they are needy, greedy, and full of countless other sinful characteristics. it is difficult to completely trust and rely on the body if you have been hurt by a display of these characteristics.

one has to risk this hurt to fully embrace the body. the body protects and strengthens. it all works together for one purpose. the strong help the weak, the grand systems rely on the most seemingly insignificant parts.

this weekend i saw friends of my aunt kay and friends of my amazing family gather together simply to offer their love and support. they came to strengthen a part of the body that is suffering.

i see beauty and blessings through this heartache, but i still dont feel like skipping today.